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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Mystery Pics

You surely remember reading about my mysterious journey to the Undisclosed Location this Pesach. In fact, I'm sure you've been waiting ever since with bated breath for the promised pictures and your big chance at disclosing the location. Unfortunately, around that time I ran into blogger picture issues, and put the promised pictures on a back burner. Well, their time has come, so you can let out that breath you've been holding as you admire the breathtaking beauty of Undisclosed Location (and its environs).
A mysterious door beckons the intrepid bloggers to enter a REALLY undisclosed location. Alas, it remains securely locked.
An unnamed blogger descends into the innards of the Undisclosed Location.
This is the only photo of the Undisclosed Location that has been at all digitally altered (not counting cropping.) Promise.
I took this picture in the hopes that it would make people wonder hard about where we'd been. But the only ones wondering were the spectators. "What's she doing THERE? And why's she taking a picture of THAT?"
OK, my captioning creativity is dwindling to critical levels. How about this: Post a fun caption for any of the photos in the comments on this post. Best one will receive an invaluable reward. (Do they make currency low enough to pay for a thumbs-up?)
This is one of those things that seemed like a cool idea at the time... but later only serves to keep others asking, "What's THAT picture doing in your trip album?"
Ace of spades?
You are now leaving Undisclosed Location. Please check your surroundings for belongings and small children, as we cannot be responsible for items left behind you. Please leave comments as you exit, and have a nice day.

Undisclosed Location, continued

This is the "...and its environs" part; i.e. taken after leaving the Undisclosed Location.

Naaseh Venishma

So I was learning a little in preparation for Shavuos, and of course the classical question arose about why "naaseh" (doing) comes before "nishma" (hearing).

My first thought was, "Hey! My kids do that!" You know, all the little guys with ADHD: Take action before listening to the instructions. Leap before you look. Naaseh before nishma. Gotta give those kids some credit.

I was going to inject some deeper meaning here, but I got busy, so I'm just posting this to get it out of drafts. Good for a grin, if not much else. Sorry. For deeper meaning on naaseh v'nishma, I think one of the shiurim discussed it. Maybe this one. Speaking of which, I highly recommend -- lots of free downloadable shiurim on all different topics, pretty well organized with tags and all.

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Single's Field Guide to Professional Shadchanim (Part I)

For the enterprising young woman wishing to hunt shadchanim for fun and profit, it is essential to familiarize oneself with the species' various breeds and the best environments for spotting them. This guide will just help you get started in your exciting new hobby; once you begin to explore the joys of shadchan-seeking you will find yourself making your own new discoveries all the time!

Habitat: While shadchan-sightings have been reported in such diverse locations as wedding halls and supermarkets, you are most likely to find them in their natural settings such as homes or offices. These tend to cluster around breeding grounds for singles such as large institutions of learning, which keep the P. Shadchantus supplied with materials vital for their survival in the wild.

Technique: Those wishing to observe P. Shadchantus relatively unnoticed should attempt to blend in with the surroundings as much as possible. This can be achieved by a straightening of the hair and purchase of a post-Bais-Yaakov uniform, combined with a standard schooling history and a career as a preschool assistant. However, in order to obtain personal benefit from taming the specimen, it is necessary to approach one's quarry at close range and attract its attention. While specific techniques may vary according to the subspecies and region, which will be noted later, certain measures of preparation are always wise before beginning a field maneuver: One should equip with copious quantities of green-tinged presidential portraits, slip gracefully into a size 2 skirt, acquire a letter of acceptance to a kiruv or special ed camp, and identify all scholarly and saintly ancestry.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Random Sighting

Ok, ok, I confess. Last post's survey was merely an excuse to share this with you. Only the pictures didn't come out good enough to post, so this is basically from memory.

University restrooms seem to garner a classier grade of graffiti; the very walls can serve as one large, anonymous network. Where else can you get such food for thought in a less appropriate setting?

Take this sighting, which I tried to photograph for y'all but my phone just didn't do justice:
What would it take for you to see your dream as a reality?
A revolution
Endurance & $$$
Psychosis ~or~ drugs

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Survey: A=?

I've had the next post typed for a while already, but I think it would be more meaningful if I posed this question to you first:
What would it take for you to see a dream as a reality?*
Or, for the more visual among you:

P.S. Sorry about sporadic absences, for those of you actually following here. Blogger has not been kind to me lately. Also experiencing lapses of inspiration...
* Pardon the poor wording and bear with me, please.