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Sunday, October 7, 2007

Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome

Maybe this is why I prefer blogging... I have this habit of saying things wrong. Not necessarily saying the wrong thing; it just comes out wrong. Or maybe just gets heard wrong.

Then I say, "Ouch. I don't think I'll ever open my mouth again... for the next two minutes."

Oh, and my face turns this lovely shade of pink, it's actually quite cute. When you're not the one behind it, that is.

And now for a classic episode of "What did I do this time?!" with your accident-prone host, BasMelech:
It's Simchas Torah and I'm in shul, right in the middle of the social event of the year. The problem is, there's this conflict in schedule with davening and the Torah reading. I came for the latter events and find the talking quite disturbing. I notice that many of the socializers aren't even holding a siddur or chumash or anything, maybe they don't realize that the services resumed already after hakafos...
So, the generous-hearted BasMelech decides to share the light. I offer an Artscroll to the lady sitting next to me, with some comment about how enlightening it is to be able to follow the readings in English...
And she is very insulted. Very. "And what makes you think I don't know Hebrew?" with such a face...
I smile sweetly and say something along the lines of, "Oh, I just love using this edition because...blah blah something" and quickly retreat to my own readings just in time for the umpteenth aliyah. [hot light on pink face, fade to black]

(I suddenly discovered that I had to go home to put up lunch around that time... a little earlier than planned, but my father's shul always ends earlier and of course I didn't want anyone to have to wait... Yeah, that's me: BasMelech, escape artist)

5 comments:

Scraps said...

Oysh. I can relate. Sometimes I think I have a chronic case of Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome, and it causes me no end of embarrassment and awkwardness.

BEHIND A SMILE said...

Oh dear, i think i've had that syndrome too, you feel like you want to earth to open and swallow you!
The worst is when i start making excuses for it out of embarrassment - then it is like out of the pan and into the fire!
But slowly i'm learning to save myself and not be harsh, ppl say the wrong things to me to and when you realize that they didn't mean what they said then one usually soon forgets about it.

Bas~Melech said...

March for the cure!

bad4shidduchim said...

Oh - it was the other woman's fault for being thick, purposely or otherwise. And she ought to be ashamed to talking during kriyas HaTorah. Maybe you've got a foot in your mouth when you speak up, but at least you don't speak up when you're supposed to be quiet.

David_on_the_Lake said...

Hmmm seems u were straddling the fence..there..
You find the talking disturbing and truly wwant to chastize them...yet...you dont have the heart to..and it just melts into this miscombobulated scene...