In the first two lessons in this series, we discussed the different needs and desires of boys and girls. In this lesson, we will synthesize the previous findings and imagine them in action in a real-life scenario. To that end, I bring you
Secrets.
Few tools are more powerful and dangerous to a Teacher than the Secret.
The power of a Secret is that it enables one to evade issues of Pride and Fair. No one can cry "Foul!" if they don't know that the Fairness code has been breached. Thus, Fair and Nice can peacefully coexist. Similarly, Pride is a social measure; private matters are somewhat distanced from Pride and not as threatening. This is especially crucial for boys, because receiving Niceness can injure their Pride.
Yes, a Secret is a thing of beauty. But not forever. For the danger of Secrets, of course, is that they are spontaneously combustible. And nothing is as dangerous to a Secret as Friends.
Since boys need Pride above all, there is often a mutual understanding about Secrets: Don't blab mine and I won't blab yours. We all need our Pride; don't risk it.
However, a girl's basic need is Friends. One of the basic tenets of Friendship among young girls is that secrets are shared with Friends. If you know a secret, you have Friends. If you do not share your secret, you're not really my Friend. This is tragic.
Now of course, both boys and girls need both Friends and Pride. Therefore, the Teacher (and parent) must carefully consider the risk-benefit ratio of each Secret. The above analysis is meant only to clarify the various factors involved in making this weighty decision.
This concludes the beginner's series on Interplanetary Science. A more advanced course may be offered in a future semester as new findings arise, but this is the last of the planned installments.
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3 comments:
Secrets can be used as currency in many, many ways. For instance, one of the worst things you can do to a Friend is to tell her Secret(s) to others. Just as one girl may tell another, "If you won't tell me your Secrets, you're not my Friend," she may similarly say, "If you won't say/do ____, I'm going to tell everyone your Secret(s)." Or, to make it clear to one and all that So-and-So is not her Friend, she will simply tell So-and-So's Secret(s) without any warning at all.
Little girls can be nasty little creatures.
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