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Sunday, February 24, 2008

Interplanetary Science 101

Before you yell, I ask you to look past the sexist stereotypes, appreciate good humor, and think about the truth. I also offer the requisite disclaimer: Yes, people are complex and cannot be entirely explained through generalized rules; however, G-d created species with certain characteristics that can be used to further our understanding of the specimens in our lives. Now, for our feature presentation:

Above you will find an excerpt from "A Tale of Two Brains," Mark Gungor's attempt to explain the differences between men and women. Below please find "A Tale of two Hearts," Bas-Melech's attempt to explain the difference between boys and girls, a subject necessary for every would-be teacher to master.

To facilitate their coexistence and the continuation of the human race, boys and girls do not have the same basic needs and wants. Therefore, they are not natural competitors. However, it is essential to recognize the differences so that they can be provided. We will begin with their needs.

Boys need pride. It's really very simple. You insult me, I punch you, now we all know who's stronger. (you can now proceed with the interrupted activity.) Note to teacher: Lay off his pride or he will fight you to the death. Yours. Every boy can succeed because he'll always be able to beat somebody. If you have a real weakling, chances are he's smarter than someone. If he's a dumb weakling, he'd better have a big brother, rich father, something. He'll be OK as long as he has his pride. That was easy -- this is why I teach boys.

Now let's talk about girls. Girls need friends. This is not something any teacher can provide. Don't even try -- if you mix into friends, trouble will surely ensue. Friends are difficult to provide because one of the requirements is that they have to be entirely voluntary and whole-hearted. Even if they are entirely voluntary and whole-hearted, there is almost no way to prove this, so a girl's quest for a true friend can go on forever. Even once some friends have been acquired, they can always be lost, so watch out. If a girl fears that she is losing a friend, her entire life is cast into turmoil.

Although much more can be extrapolated on this subject, this ends our brief introductory segment on the differing needs of boys and girls. In our next installment, we will discuss the oft-conflicting wants of boys and girls and how these interact with their needs. Stay tuned.


Anonymous said...

Interesting observation on boys and girls. Thanks for sharing.

And that video was hillarious

Lvnsm27 said...

woops, that comment's from me

Bas~Melech said...

Wait'll I get to part 2, lvn. Tomatoes will fly. ;-)

Scraps said...

I absolutely agree with your analysis thus far. I'll go buy some tomatoes while waiting for Part II. :-P

Bas~Melech said...

Started writing. It's turning out rather mild after all. Sorry, hold the fireworks. :-P

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

about youtube video: what the HELL is everybody there laughing about? It's not THAT funny. Did they like, dug them before they came in or something?...

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

*uhem* "drug" them..

The Babysitter said...

about the video, someone recently e-mailed it to me and I watched the beginning and hadn't had time to finish it, so now I watched the whole thing, and I thought it was really funny and incredibly true.

My seminary teacher had taught us a little bit about the differences between the ways boys and girls think. She told us how men feel they have to fix things, while woman just want someone to listen and to make nonsensical remarks like "I'm so sorry to hear that".

A different seminary teacher explained to us how you remember things that have experiences. Like you won't remember what you ate for lunch 3 days ago, but you will remember the time when you went out with friends, because there it's attached to an experience, that it has something spiritual in it so to speak.

Interesting reason to teach boys.

It's all very true. I remember in HS, one teacher tried to get involved with making friends, she actually wanted us to be her friend and would take a few of us out at a time to talk with her, her daughter was in our class and I found the whole thing really strange.