Sharing Simcha -- Part IX

I took one last walk through the camp, reliving the moments, the friendships, the inspiration that the very ground bore witness to. My heart was stirred and my feet didn't want to leave, but deep inside I knew it was time to move on. I was ready.

And yet...

Regret and envy. The feelings that come forth now, looking back. Regret that there were moments I squandered when maybe I could have given more. Regret that there were still so many special people I hadn't gotten to know better. Envy of the youngsters just about to embark on their first Simcha experience with all the moments still theirs to grab. Envy of those who truly live up to their special reputation.

Next time I walk those hallowed grounds, iy"H, will be as an outsider. Someone else will have taken over my job, my bed, my rotation shift. I won't recognize three quarters of the staff and they will never know that I spent n years doing their job. It'll hit hard.

Don't know why I'm getting so maudlin about this. After all, I disinvited myself. See, they have this policy, "Ein me'arvin Simcha b'simcha." Which is what this whole post was going to be about. I guess the fact that my thoughts are still in camp is part of my answer to SD's dare (bet, whatever.) Though I wouldn't turn down any iced coffee, anyhow...