Bas~Melech does not endorse any off-site content.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

A Day in the Life...

Welcome to Miss Melech's class, where every person shines.

If you fail to see the humor here, then you are welcome to come take over for a day or three. By then you will probably be just desperate enough to appreciate it, while I will have recuperated enough to produce some more appealing literature.

The ~s indicate a fast-forward, usually past boring stuff.


Miss Melech: Gentlemen, recess is now over. Please sit down.
Sam: Oh yeah? Who asked you!
Nick: OK.
Miss Melech: Zack, you're our calendar monitor this week. You know what to do; go ahead.
MM: OK, what month is it now? It's not December anymore, it's...
Zack: mrthsndstkfl
MM: What?
Zack: more-need-sticky-this-tack-fall.
MM: Do you need some more fun-tak for that?
Zack: Yes.
MM: How do we ask? a full sentence would be nice.
Zack: Please?
Miss Melech: Last week we learned about Native Americans who live in the desert. Now we're going to learn about Native Americans from a different place: The Great Plains.
Sam: Oh yeah, teacher -- Who asked you?
MM: When I say plain, I don't mean an airplane. A plain is a type of place, the way deserts, forests, and oceans are different types of places. Both kinds of planes sound the same, but they're spelled differently.
Mark: My uncle went on a plane!
Sam: Well my father HAS a plane!
Mark: He goes on planes all the time!
Sam: It's the most expensive plane in the world!
Mark: Tomorrow I'm going to the airport to pick him up!
Sam: It costed a thousand -- no, ten thousand dollars!
MM: How interesting. Maybe we'll talk about airplanes a different day. Right now we're going to learn about a place called the plains.
Sam: Oh yeah, well who asked you?
MM: The book I just gave you has a lot of pictures of plains. Please open your book and take a look at them.
Sam: I don't have to. Books are stupid.
Nick: OK.
MM: Look at the pictures. What does a plain look like?
Joe: I know! I know!
MM: (Really? Oh, I mean--) Yes, Joe?
Joe: It's big and white and has lots of seats and seatbelts.
MM: OK, you're telling me about an airplane, right? Now please look at the pictures in this book. The place in the pictures is called a plain.
Joe: Oh.
Miss Melech: Nick, can you please open your book?
Nick: OK.
MM: Tell me what you see.
Nick: OK.
MM: (pause) Well, what do you see?
Nick: A picture.
MM: Tell me about the picture.
Nick: OK.
Mark: grrrrr
Miss Melech: Now we're going to read this story about the Plains Indians.
Nick: OK.
MM: Turn to the first page.
Nick: OK.
Mark: grrrrr
MM: Can you find the title of the book?
Nick: OK.
MM: Nick, please stop saying "OK" after everything I say.
Nick: OK.
Mark: ka-pow!
Miss Melech: Let's review. What kind of place is a plain?
blank stares
MM: What can you see on a plain?
blank stares
MM: OK, what can't you see on a plain?
blank stares
MM: Nick?
Nick: No trees!
MM: Very good! There are very few trees on a plain.
Joe: I get it!
MM: (beams) What is it, Joe?
Joe: An airplane also doesn't have trees! That's why it's called a plane!
MM: speechless


Anonymous said...

How many little charmers do you have? At least you can see the humor in it. Er... You can, right?

halfshared said...

Lol how encouraging. I hope these kids are cherubic little children. You wouldn't want me in your classroom. I'd probably be on the floor laughing but sympathizing at the same time.

AT PEACE said...

So funny! Actually, for us, readers. It's great that you can see the humor in it! I imagine that at times it must be frustration and not so funny when you're trying to teach a thing or two...

The Dreamer said...


...but frustrating, i know...

Scraps said...

Oh. Dear.

You must have the patience of a malach.

Bas~Melech said...

Most of the time it's not that funny, though maybe it might be if it wasn't happening to me. Suffice it to say that two months ago I never would have put a "laugh" label on this post, but now I can. :-)

Glad y'all enjoyed!

Bas~Melech said...

BTW, Joe really did get what a plain is -- he just couldn't stop trying to figure out why a plane and a plain would be called the same thing. I'm glad he found something; at least it got him to stop obsessing about it!

That one never fails to crack me up. I still haven't figured out how I should have responded (too often, I think of a good thing to say after the moment has passed...)

Bas~Melech said...

OK, my third comment in a row, as if I'm desperate for hits or something... this is just in response to a verbal comment I got today:

YES, this really happened! I could NOT make this stuff up!