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Last night
you wandered through
my dream -
licking ice cream,
looking young.
I couldn't touch you
make you stay
but finally I knew
you weren't really
...gone...
Humanity is like a bag of pistachios.
Some are so open that all their insides just jump out at you.
Many are tough, but you can find a little crack, and if you work at it they'll open up.
Some are just too closed to even get a fingernail in.
A few are just empty shells.
But anyway, in the end they're all just a bunch of nuts.
The little girl of six or seven trotted jauntily alongside a stroller and a mom, proudly bearing aloft a small bouquet of purple flowers for Shabbos. She turned her sunny face toward mine for the briefest moment and lit up my day.
It's midday on Erev Shabbos and the streets are teeming with young ones coming home from school, people of all sizes running errands, so busy with much to do yet simultaneously beginning to relax because the week is ending and Shabbos is coming. The snow and ice are finally melting and I suddenly realize that Brooklyn is much more likeable on foot, in the sun, when people have faces and aren't just huddled projectiles dashing in front of my car.
The little girl's smile is still in my heart for the next few blocks and it seems like all is right with the world. As I near my destination I am nearly hit head-on by a young woman intent on her smartphone. Somehow it seems she is missing the point. I ascend into the subway as she exits into a vibrant world she will probably never see. Maybe someone will bring her purple flowers for Shabbos, too.
I have NOT disappeared from the blogosphere. I have my favorite regulars on Google Reader and still click links to my favorite occasional reads too. I have even had some comments in mind.
However, for some reason Blogger is being nasty to me and I run into problems every time I try to post a comment. Maybe one day I'll find the time and patience to figure it out, but meanwhile once I get a fail or two I just decide my comment wasn't that important anyway.
Just wanted to let the bloggers among my readers (you still there???) know that I haven't abandoned you. I am reading and appreciating your posts and just not saying anything.
But while I'm at it, I'll toss a link to two of my most promising new finds:
Soul Comfort
Inspire Yourself
Thanks for the reads! Sorry for the lack of comments, I've been following you both for a while!
With apologies for the poor inexcusably awful image editing, I introduce you to the newest member of the Bas~Melech family:
(Just because she happens to be a girl doesn't mean she has to be associated with a sissy book instead of a perfectly awesome one.)
I was also going to honor her in this post with a poem, but of course I composed it on Shabbos and...sigh. So I'll leave you with a motherly muse instead.
To TLP:
In the past, you knew only comfort (I assume...): warmth, nurturing, safety. Now you cry in desperation - you've found a world of hunger, cold, loneliness. I could let you cry a little longer. You won't starve or freeze. Really, you're OK. That's life, you'll get used to it eventually.
But I don't. I couldn't. I run to answer your every whimper, to make sure your needs are met immediately, to comfort you however I can.
Why? I know I can't protect you forever...
Maybe it's to make sure you know the feeling of being cared for in this world, to make sure you know such a thing still exists, so one day when I'm not here for you anymore - or when, despite my efforts, the harshness of the world comes to bite - when you'll be called upon to just believe that Hashem is taking care of you and it's all OK, you'll already know what it means to trust. Remember somewhere deep inside how secure you feel right now; that's where you want to come back to in due time.
It's OK, I'm here, as soon as you start to cry I'm waiting to scoop you into my arms and give you what you want.
(Now that you know that, can you please calm down so I can go back to sleep?)
Love,
Your Mommy
P.S. You are the cutest thing I have ever seen. Ever.
Promise me
you'll never die.
Promise
you'll stay young and strong.
Promise me
we'll be like this
together here
Forever.
And if you won't promise
then hold me tight
we'll close our eyes
imagine strong
and make this moment
last
Forever
instead.
If I were the driver
I'd first beep
just to make sure those people up ahead are awake.
Then
I'd get out of the car
to see what's causing the delay.
By now
I'd probably
turn onto the shoulder
back up to the last exit
and take a different route.
If I were the driver.
But today...
I took the bus.
So I get to
sit back
close my eyes
relax for a while
and rely on the driver
to get me
There.
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