My new excuse

With apologies for the poor inexcusably awful image editing, I introduce you to the newest member of the Bas~Melech family:

(Just because she happens to be a girl doesn't mean she has to be associated with a sissy book instead of a perfectly awesome one.)

I was also going to honor her in this post with a poem, but of course I composed it on Shabbos and...sigh. So I'll leave you with a motherly muse instead.

To TLP:
In the past, you knew only comfort (I assume...): warmth, nurturing, safety. Now you cry in desperation - you've found a world of hunger, cold, loneliness. I could let you cry a little longer. You won't starve or freeze. Really, you're OK. That's life, you'll get used to it eventually.

But I don't. I couldn't. I run to answer your every whimper, to make sure your needs are met immediately, to comfort you however I can.

Why? I know I can't protect you forever...

Maybe it's to make sure you know the feeling of being cared for in this world, to make sure you know such a thing still exists, so one day when I'm not here for you anymore - or when, despite my efforts, the harshness of the world comes to bite - when you'll be called upon to just believe that Hashem is taking care of you and it's all OK, you'll already know what it means to trust. Remember somewhere deep inside how secure you feel right now; that's where you want to come back to in due time.

It's OK, I'm here, as soon as you start to cry I'm waiting to scoop you into my arms and give you what you want.

(Now that you know that, can you please calm down so I can go back to sleep?)

Love,
Your Mommy

P.S. You are the cutest thing I have ever seen. Ever.

Sharing Simcha -- Part IX

I took one last walk through the camp, reliving the moments, the friendships, the inspiration that the very ground bore witness to. My heart was stirred and my feet didn't want to leave, but deep inside I knew it was time to move on. I was ready.

And yet...

Regret and envy. The feelings that come forth now, looking back. Regret that there were moments I squandered when maybe I could have given more. Regret that there were still so many special people I hadn't gotten to know better. Envy of the youngsters just about to embark on their first Simcha experience with all the moments still theirs to grab. Envy of those who truly live up to their special reputation.

Next time I walk those hallowed grounds, iy"H, will be as an outsider. Someone else will have taken over my job, my bed, my rotation shift. I won't recognize three quarters of the staff and they will never know that I spent n years doing their job. It'll hit hard.

Don't know why I'm getting so maudlin about this. After all, I disinvited myself. See, they have this policy, "Ein me'arvin Simcha b'simcha." Which is what this whole post was going to be about. I guess the fact that my thoughts are still in camp is part of my answer to SD's dare (bet, whatever.) Though I wouldn't turn down any iced coffee, anyhow...

Sharing Simcha -- Part VIII: Two Weeks

B"H with the help of many bloggers and other friends, my Team Lifeline fundraising goal has been reached! I have replaced all my links with various other ways of donating to Chai Lifeline. Sponsorships can still be made at TeamLifeline.org

Special thanks to:

Apple

Babysitter

Bad4Shidduchim

Corner Point

Half Shared

Juggling Frogs

The Linns

ProfK

Scraps

and, of course, Anonymous.

I couldn't have done it without you!

And now, for today's feature presentation:

When I got to Camp Simcha this summer, I was surprised to notice a beautiful new building gracing the southern hill. It was surprising because just a few weeks earlier, all I had seen there was a pile of sticks.

Two weeks later, as I dragged my duffel up the same hill, I was surprised to see that it had become a verdant lawn. It was surprising because just two weeks earlier, in the wake of the construction, it had been a sandy lot.

When I got to the top of the hill, I was surprised to see the dining room filled with lighthearted, giggling girls. It was surprising because just two weeks earlier, many of these had been insecure, disheartened young women.

When I entered the dining room, I was surprised to see these girls hugging and bonding like the closest of sisters. It was surprising because just two weeks earlier, most of these had been total strangers.

Camp Simcha is full of surprises.
Help make it happen by sponsoring the Linns in the TeamLifeline marathon! They're doing double time so they really need your support!

Sharing Simcha -- Part VII

Since I can't share most of my camp photos, I figured at least this one I may as well put up...
That's the Chai Lifeline/Camp Simcha logo. In watermelon.

The Camp Simcha/Special kitchen staff does not only prepare fresh, yummy, nutritious food for the whole camp -- they also go out of their way to dream up any little touch that they think might make a kid smile... and whet their appetite!

This job goes beyond simple sustenance. Many of the campers are underweight or need constant nourishment to keep their struggling bodies going. However, their appetites are iffy due to various conditions or medications. As you've probably read in Miracle Ride, chemo can give people crazy cravings ... and some kids just miss their mommy's food. (In one episode, camp staff called a camper's mom in Israel for her daughter's favorite recipe...)

Whatever the situation, the Camp Simcha kitchen has it covered. Parents can rest assured at home, knowing that their child won't have any problem getting his or her dietary needs met.

Help keep the kitchen stocked!

Sharing Simcha -- Part VI

Natasha comfortably slid onto the stool beside the pottery wheel. It was her fifth year in Camp Simcha, and she already knew the ropes. A workshop head joined her and began to offer her some ideas .
"Would you like to make a vase? A bowl?" She showed her some of the beautiful pieces that other campers had finished.
But Natasha already knew what she wanted.
"Candles," she said. "I will make candles for Shabbat."
So the "pot heads" helped her craft a perfect pair of ceramic candlesticks, possibly a first for them, too. And Natasha took them home, carefully wrapped, so that she could continue to light Shabbos candles as she'd done in camp.
Camp Simcha is not a kiruv camp. Kids from irreligious backgrounds are allowed to be themselves, no one tries to push yiddishkeit on anyone there. Nevertheless, being surrounded by so many mitzvos and so much ahavas Yisrael creates an indelible impression upon everyone who is privileged to walk the grounds. Sometimes it is more immediately visible, other times the impact is more subtle. It is there. For some, it's their only connection to practicing Jews.
Natasha did not have any religious education. She barely even spoke English. But she felt her counselors' love and caring so deeply that she wanted to become more like them. Realizing that all of her adored staff members wore skirts, she bought some extra skirts to bring to camp. Eventually she started wearing them more during the year as well. At meals, she asked her counselor to wash and say the blessing with her. And of course, every Shabbos she lit the candles.
She's not alone. Over my years on staff, I've seen many Jewish sparks aroused -- not through sermons or missionizing, but through fun, friendship, and caring. Ellaine made herself a siddur cover in leather shop, and found a transliterated siddur in the camp shul to grace with it. (Now she's called Elana -- in camp, at least). A teen who may, at home, be considered "on the fringe" herself leads a group of unaffiliated bunkmates in the bracha on the Shabbos candles. Girls in shorts and sleeveless tops walk through the campgrounds singing "Everybody wants Moshiach..." Sophie wished me a "Happy Rosh Hashana," though she probably never celebrated it herself. After participating in Menucha's bat mitzvah party in camp, Jenny decided she wanted a bat mitzva, too (and made herself a tallit for the occasion in arts 'n' crafts!)...
And Katie learned quickly that while no one had heard of her hometown, she could put herself on the "Jewish Geography" map by saying she lives "near Lakewood." ;-)

Please help support Camp Simcha and Simcha Special by sponsoring me in the Team Lifeline marathon!

Sharing Simcha -- Part V

The sun had just set over the placcid lake [pictured above -- click to enlarge] on the last night of camp. Everyone sat around the main lawn, huddled together against the August chill, waiting for the evening's program to begin. Lori caught my eye and mouthed something. I knew what to do

On three, both of us, equally un-musical, belted out an opening line. By the time we finished, the singing spirit had spread across the crowd and a powerful voice filled the air as fireworks sparkled overhead.

Simcha magic, feel it in the air
Can't explain it, just know that it's there
Simcha magic, what a feeling,
it's hard to believe
I'm gonna take it home with me!

It wasn't until mid-winter that I discovered how powerful that moment had been. For both me and Lori, it was one of those long and lonely years, full of the kind of transitions that pull you away from familiarity and into uncharted places. But some nights, lying awake in bed on the other side of the country, Lori would think back to that magical moment in Camp Simcha. She would feel the power of being the one to set the tone (not her natural type) and the warmth of all those voices backing her up. At those times she knew that she had the power within her to stand up to all that life was throwing her way. She knew that wherever she was and whatever was going on, she had a whole family who would always be there, somewhere, for her.

14-year-old Lori couldn't articulate those feelings quite so simply. But I am pretty sure I understood exactly how she felt, because that moment did the same thing for me.

Please support Camp Simcha and Simcha Special by sponsoring me in the Team Lifeline marathon!

Bas~Melech to Earth, come in please!

To the loyal readers out there, sorry for the long hiatus. This semester has hit me like a ton of bricks and temporarily disrupted my orbit of this Earth. I hope to return someday.

In other news, I have a cold. And I've realized something -- when I'm sick, life grinds to a halt. Now, granted, this is one really nasty cold. My head basically stopped working for a couple of days. So I called in to work sick, slept until noon, and cited Wikipedia as my only reference in all of my coursework. I turned off my phone because it hurt too much to talk, stopped counting calories and slurped shakes as fast as I could make them. I whined to anyone who would listen and did nothing around the house. So now I have work to make up, a dozen phone calls to return (I have never been this popular!), 5 pounds to lose, and a guilty conscience. (And I'm sitting here just blogging about it.)

All this reminded me of some friends I have who never feel as well as I do, yet they've made more of their lives than me even when I'm feeling great. Right, I'm back on the topic of my Simcha Special friends, because I can't get enough of them! Most live with chronic pain, many have breathing difficulties, limited mobility, and such, but they don't let that stop them. Wander into the beautiful library or beis midrash at camp, and you will find campers who rise in time to daven before breakfast every day. So many of the girls are full of smiles and bursting to share them with you. They never seem to be in too much of their own pain to think about others.

I think it's time I take a page out of their book and put aside my tissues to run a few laps around the block!

Please help give these kids a chance to live it up in Camp Simcha/Special by sponsoring me in the Team Lifeline marathon! Thank you, Apple, for your sponsorship.

Sharing Simcha -- Part IV

Lifeguarding is hard work. Especially in a camp. How does one remain vigilant after spending hours outside in the summer heat? In Camp Simcha and Simcha Special, at least they have the benefit of making miracles daily.

Chemotherapy had bloated Leah's body beyond recognition. Movement was difficult for her; she almost never left her wheelchair, and talking, even smiling, was painful. To the casual observer, it would almost seem as if she could do... nothing.

Not in Camp Simcha.

We were surprised to see Leah accompany her bunk to the pool. But nothing could have prepared us for the transformation that happened after she was wheeled in one of the special pool chairs down the ramp (now where else have you seen a wheelchair-accessible swimming pool?) It was as if Leah's limbs had suddenly been released from the shackles that held them stiff all the time. Once in the water, she was able to move freely and even gracefully. For one hour, she was just like a regular, healthy kid!

The effects didn't end there, either. After drying off, Leah got to head back to the bunk with friends who saw that she, too, had talent. Friends who knew more than ever that she could be just like them. The kid who looked to "outsiders" like a silent lump in a chair had found her place to shine.

Though it may seem basic, the pool is actually a major part of the Simcha experience. Many campers, like Leah, are limited in their range of motion. In camp, they can come to the pool and break free of their uncooperative bodies every day. For various reasons, swimming is not usually accessible to many of the campers. However, with the medical team on call constantly and specially-trained staff, they can swim safely and securely.

Please help support Camp Simcha and Simcha Special by sponsoring me in the Team Lifeline marathon!

Sharing Simcha -- Part III

Long before the first rays of summer warm the earth, before the countdown to vacation begins, before camp applications have even been mailed out... before school starts, a group of dedicated individuals are already planning the next summer in Camp Simcha.

It's no small feat. Anyone who's worked in camp administration, any camp, knows how much planning, creativity, and coordination goes into the summer program. Multiply that by the amount of medical concerns in Camp Simcha and you've got a task that can only be tackled by the greatest giants and the G-d they hang on to so tightly. Divide it by the budget and it might just border on impossible.

With the economy on a downslide, charitable organizations are some of the first to feel the burn. I sure don't envy the job of those who need to decide which sick child's dream to cut back on. But that was the very task the abovementioned individuals faced last winter as they pondered what made the biggest impact on the campers' Simcha experience.

The result they came up with after hours of discussions with the various people involved was somewhat surprising, if not entirely original: It's the little things that count. In fact, it turns out that one of the most memorable things about camp is the soda.

Throughout the beautiful Jack and Moishe Horn Campus, you will find about seven (IIRC) drink-vending machines. The price displayed on the LCD reads $0.00. Sure enough, one need only push a button to receive the desired beverage. Apparently, this phenomenon is way cooler than adults realize, because it's one of the first things that kids rave about when they come home. Thus it was decided that the soda would stay in the budget and some other, more glamorous activity would be cut.

Why am I telling you this now? Simply to help you understand that every little touch makes a difference. A soda can, at wholesale, costs about 70 cents. Each thrill that a kid gets from hearing one clunk out of a machine, ice cold on a sweltering summer day, costs 70 cents. For less than a buck, you can help a sick kid's dream come true. But why stop there? Why not make a hundred dreams come true? You don't need to wait to win the lottery and sponsor a building fund. Rest assured that whatever you can give will be stretched to the max, with teams of devoted people working to ensure that it is allocated in ways that will benefit the campers the most.

Please support Camp Simcha and Simcha Special by sponsoring me in the Team Lifeline marathon.

Sharing Simcha -- Part II

When Sharon first came to Camp Simcha, she was a shy, frightened child. Little did the novice staff members realize what a sparkling personality she'd been just a few months earlier. Cancer had mercilessly stolen her confidence, self-esteem, energy... and her hair. She felt almost guilty for feeling this way, but at eleven years old, that mattered almost as much as the threat to her very life.

As one fabulous, fun-filled day followed another, Sharon slowly came out of her shell. She began to make friends with her bunkmates and allowed herself to let go and enjoy a variety of engaging activities. In Camp Simcha, it's normal to cover your head or have less hair, so Sharon felt a bit less self-conscious ... but still, while many campers began to hold their heads up proudly, Sharon's remained hidden beneath her bandanas. Even in the bunkhouse at night, where girls begin to feel comfortable and trust the privacy, Sharon would get under her blanket before slipping off her bandana, and sleep covered all night.

However, as strong as the effects of chemo and isolation, the Simcha Magic proved stronger. On the last day of camp, Sharon came by my office to display the headband she'd created in one of the crafts workshops ... on her own fuzzy head. Rumor had it she'd been walking around that way all day, garnering compliments on her new 'do.

Postscript: The next summer, Sharon returned to camp, golden locks framing her gaunt face. This time, she already knew to expect an atmosphere of love and acceptance, and did not have to warm up at all before diving headfirst into the camp experience ... and thus, not a moment of her last summer was wasted on lonely feelings of insecurity. The Simcha Magic carried her high until the very end.

Please support Camp Simcha and Simcha Special by sponsoring me in the Team Lifeline marathon!
Thanks ProfK, HalfShared, David Linn, and Juggling Frogs for your generous donations!

Sharing Simcha -- See it. Hear it.

Here are two great, very real videos that were shown at previous Chai Lifeline dinners.



Another video (embedding disabled, sorry)

Support Chai Lifeline by sponsoring me in the Team Lifeline marathon!

Sharing Simcha -- Part I

My mind was a fuzzy blank as I headed towards my first learning group in Simcha Special. It had seemed so simple when the smiling shiur head recruited me last night... but then I saw the topic and materials: Today's shiur was all about being happy with what you have.

I, a fortunate, healthy JAP, had always looked towards people like my new charges to remind myself that things could always be worse. How would I now address twenty adolescents, most of whom could not walk, eat, or even breathe without technological assistance, and make them feel lucky? I wanted to crawl into a hole and cry for all the pain contained within that one small room.
Feelings aside, it was time for shiur. I introduced myself and opened the discussion with a question: What makes you happy?

As the first few hands began to wave in the air, I nervously wondered what the replies might be. So many of the things a typical adolescent might answer were completely out of reach to these kids: funky shoes, pizza, and even, for some, friends.

My predictions turned out to be completely off-base as one girl after another offered:
"Coming to Camp Simcha Special makes me happy."
"I feel happy when my counselor calls me."
"Looking at my pictures from camp."
"Getting together with my bunkmates during the year."
"The pool!" (a place usually off-limits, as I may or may not explain in the future)
Others continued in this vein, with just a few deviations.

Never has it been clearer to me how Camp Simcha Special is truly a ray of sunshine when life seems so bleak. If this is one of the only things that makes these suffering kids happy, it is vital that we do everything in our power to help make it possible.

Support Camp Simcha and Camp Simcha Special by sponsoring me in the ING Miami Marathon.

Sharing Simcha -- Intro

As you may know, I spent several summers volunteering at Camp Simcha and Simcha Special, the one-of-a-kind retreats for seriously ill Jewish children. The kids and staff are so amazing that every year I am inspired to go further in my efforts to join them in putting smiles back where they belong.

In fact, this year I've committed to go quite a few miles further than before -- I'll be joining Team Lifeline in the ING Miami half-marathon this January, iy"H. This way, not only do I go the distance for our kids, but I'm giving you all the opportunity to participate. I'll do the sweating, but please help out by sponsoring! To donate, follow the TeamLifeline link at the end of this post.
To help you understand what's so special about this cause, and in appreciation of your generosity, I am beginning a series of posts to give you an inside peek at the Camp Simcha experience. Every account is true in that it really happened, though I have altered identifying details and sometimes changed the point of view (i.e. don't assume that "I" is me)

One more note about identities... My TeamLifeline site is, of course, under my real name. Linking you to it was a difficult decision that I made only in the hope that it would enable many people to participate in this mitzvah. At this point, I'm OK with bloggers knowing who I am... sort-of... but I still don't want certain people to know that I blog. So please do not use my real name online or in conversations about blogging. I will be deleting the link after the marathon and resume trying to be an anonoblogger.

**Edit: Having reached my fundraising goal, with a lot of help from fellow bloggers and other friends, I am replacing my Team Lifeline link with a link to the regular Camp Simcha website. Please continue to help out; in trying times, organizations dependent on donations are hit hard!
You can enter a donation here.
Thanks in advance both for your generosity and for respecting my privacy.