Forever

Promise me
you'll never die.
Promise
you'll stay young and strong.
Promise me
we'll be like this
together here
Forever.

And if you won't promise
then hold me tight
we'll close our eyes
imagine strong
and make this moment
last
Forever
instead.

Roadblocked

If I were the driver
I'd first beep
just to make sure those people up ahead are awake.
Then
I'd get out of the car
to see what's causing the delay.
By now
I'd probably
turn onto the shoulder
back up to the last exit
and take a different route.
If I were the driver.

But today...
I took the bus.
So I get to
sit back
close my eyes
relax for a while
and rely on the driver
to get me
There.

The Greatest Poem

I am the greatest poet
that you have ever met
because I'm writing this great poem
and it's so good, I bet
it'll wow all of its readers --
O! The prizes it'll get!
And if you don't agree with me
then you'll just have to wait and see
because it isn't finished...

yet.

Sing

Sing for me again, Daddy –
Sing Aishes Chayil
while the candles glow warmly
and the challah still steams
though it's already dark by five.

Sing for me again, Daddy –
Sing Mizmor LeDavid
as I dish out the ice cream
and children flit in and out
letting the mosquitoes in, too.

Sing for me again, Daddy –
Sing Unesaneh Tokef
so I can feel safe again
because we've done teshuva, tefilah, tzedakah
and the chazzan is praying for me.

Sing for me again, Daddy –
Sing Chad Gadya
where G-d slaughters the Angel of Death
so you can sing for me again.

Around the Corner

Through the maze of life
if only we could see
What waits around the corner
an unknown mystery

"Mommy!" cries the child,
teary and alarmed
While just around the corner
she waits with open arms

Life is filled with fear
of what might lie ahead
But what's around the corner
might not warrant dread

Check your watch again
still no bus in sight
But just around the corner
it's waiting at a light

The path on which you walk
seems so grim and bleak
But just around the corner
lie answers that you seek

I wish that I could show you
what the future holds
But turning 'round the corner
is the only way to know

It may yet be a journey
or perhaps it's very near
But I'll walk you to that corner
to where the coast is clear!

Breaking Free

When I tried to lean on you
you let me fall
When I tried to follow you
you led me wrong
When I tried to talk to you
you closed your ears
When I tried to be with you
you disappeared

Now you wonder where I've gone
Why don't you understand
that you've taught me that I have to
hold my own hand
Maybe when I finish learning
to stand on my own feet
I'll come back to you and try again
And you can lean on me

Twenty-One Forever

I think I'll stay
21 forever...

"How old are you, Mommy?"
asked my little niece.
"Twenty-one plus"
said my sister
as my mother had said
to her and me
and my grandmother had said
before her.

Because you don't need years or numbers
to measure time
when you're a mother.
Instead your days pass
with upsherins and bar mitzvas
with the baby eating table food
and the little one's first day of school.

But me?
I think I'll just stay
21 forever.
So I don't need to count
the days of waiting
the months of hoping
the years of getting older
and nothing else.

Single

Single looks
like a mismatched sock
forgotten at the bottom of the heap.

Single tastes
like the salty tear
that slips out as I fall asleep.

Single smells
like the burning scorch
as I blow-dry my uncovered hair.

Single sounds
like the ringing phone
when I call to remind you I'm here.

Single feels
like the jagged edge
of another friend's broken plate.

Single means
I take on the world
with only G-d as my mate.

Forgive me

Forgive me

if I didn't sound

delighted

when you told me

your news.

I'm happy for you

I really am.

It's just that

last year

as I held your

perfect

beautiful

soft

warm

newborn

close to me

I closed my eyes

for a moment

and dared to dream

that the next one

would be mine.

And you've just told me
that it won't be.
So forgive me
if I don't sound
thrilled.
I'm happy for you
I really am
and I'll smile
for you
tomorrow.
But tonight, I know,
when I hang up the phone
when I can be alone
I'm first
going to cry
for me.

Last year

Just re-linking to last year's Yom Kipur post, because I like it and don't want it to get lost in the retired blog.
http://torahthought.blogspot.com/2007/09/this-year.html

Mosaic

The beautiful
smooth
new
piece which
had been whole
unblemished
unused
and purely perfect
now lay
shattered
scattered slivers
on the hard
stone floor.
Wholeness
destroyed.

Sharp edges
gleam and glitter
scratches catch
an unseen light.

Insightful artists
brush aside the dust
pick up the pieces
and journey on
an uncharted
exploration.

Artist's hands
move and do
but their work is shaped
by the personality
and destiny
of each
unique
piece.

Splatters
are anchored
Fragments
unified
into a
new
different
kind
of whole.

From within the shards
of devastation
emerges
an
exquisite
work
of art
Truly unique
it posseses
its own beauty.

Beauty altered
but not diminished.

On Parting

I may look dumb just smiling and nodding
but if I try to talk I'll only cry
After all the words that have been shared between us
at this time of truth I suddenly feel shy.

Maybe if you knew how much I'll miss you
if you knew how hard it is for me to leave
Then maybe you'd hold on a little tighter
and find just one more thing to say to me.

I know this parting moment has to happen
I only wish it wouldn't come so fast
The only thing to do is end it quickly --
it's the good times, not the pain, I wish would last.


Maybe if you knew how much I love you
if you knew how much it hurts to see you leave
Then perhaps you'd turn away a little slower
and leave a little more of you with me...

Home

Get out your guitar and pick a tune (any one will do)...

I'm coming home
with a suitcase full of dreams

and I always know

that even though you seem

so far away

you're right here at my side

every day

and there's no place I can hide

So I'm coming home

with a suitcase full of hope

because alone

there's no way I can cope

but next to you

I feel sheltered from all harm

so let me through

to embrace your waiting arms

Because I'm coming home

with a suitcase full of love

it's time to show

that I've been thinking of

this journey home

every day, all day long

wherever I roam

I've been singing this song:

I'm coming home...

Wishing all of Klal Yisrael a safe, healthy, kosher, peaceful, uplifting, joyous, beautiful, special yom tov!

THIS YEAR IN JERUSALEM!!!

Memories

I remember noticing the change.
I don't remember when it happened.
I remember his somewhat better days.
I don't remember when he was really young and quick.
I remember feeling frightened:
I don't remember what it was that time --
A forgotten name?
A wobbly step?
I remember moments of relief:
I don't remember whether he'd won checkers or chess
but it proved that his mind was still here.
I remember how he cried
because my father introduced me
and he thought I was my namesake, his wife.
I remember bringing him dinner
I don't remember what was wrong
but he refused to eat, like a child.
I remember knowing that we'd lost him.
I don't remember whether that was before
or after
he died.

On the occasion of my grandfather's yahrtzeit.
(Written a few years ago)
He was a very special person who did a lot for the preservation of observant Judaism in America.
I never knew that person.

Sad Lad

This is Sam.*
Look, look.
Look at Sam.
Sam is sad.

Mom says Sam must read.
Sam can read.
He reads That Fat Cat.

Sam does not like That Fat Cat.
He wants to read big books.
Sam is too old for baby books.

Teacher says Sam must read.
He must read That Fat Cat.
Then he will learn to read better.
Then he can read Encyclopedia Brittanica.

Sam is sore.
He has read That Fat Cat many times.
He does not think he will learn now.
He does not like to hear
how far he has come.
He is tired.

Sam is sad.
See Sam kick.
Sam is sad and bad and mad.

BasMelech is mad, too.
She must be mad --
She wanted to teach Sam!
BasMelech is sad and mad.
And sometimes bad.

BasMelech wants to be good.
She is not so good.

BasMelech's friends say
Don't beat yourself up.
You do some things right.

BasMelech does not want to do
some things right.
She wants to be perfect.

BasMelech's friends say
Being a little good is OK.
Then you will learn to be better.
Someday you can be a tzadeikes.

BasMelech is sore.
She has been mediocre for a long time.
She thinks she may never be great.
She is tired.

But she gets up every morning
And tells Sam
to go on trying.

*Name changed to protect minors.

Transformation

I was so afraid
the day before...

but
the moment you entered my classroom
you changed

from a puzzle to solve
a dare to win
a pot to fill
a case to crack
a mountain to climb

and became
a spirit to nourish
a soul to treasure
a child to love.

Just when

you thought

everything

was

falling

into

...place...

(rats--I wanted a specific picture and I can't find it online...)
(It's Perfection, in case you can't see -- remember that game?)

For several nights
I wondered why
you chose to cry
on me.

I had nothing
to do with you.
I felt so unable
to fill your many needs
that instead
I stayed away.

So why
would you be interested
in selfish
snobby
little
me?

Yet you looked so
forlorn
lonely
and miserable...

So I sat down
at your side
with nothing to say.

Finally
Perhaps because
I wanted so hard
Finally
after all these years
I saw

There is something
I can give you.

Do you need a hug?

A barely visible nod
and suddenly
you were in my arms.

(Had I kept you waiting
too long?)

What next?
I don't even know you
After all these years...
But finally
perhaps because
I felt for you
I knew

The only thing to say.

"It's OK to cry."

I don't know
what you cried for
that day:
Fear of the future?
Longing for the past?
Something else, maybe.

So my tears
were for only one thing:
No longer a stranger
I cried
for the pain
of a friend.

and I'm still crying for you.
May the day soon come
when there will be no more cause for tears
and those of us who shared pain
can truly be part of the shared joy.

Giving

Looking from afar
I saw
that which
you haven't
you can't
and I do.

Now I know:
While I talk,
You pray;
While I think,
You feel;
While I do,
You are.

They call me
the caregiver
and you
the invalid.

But as I look
after you --
You teach
my clouded eyes
to see.

And as I lend
my hands to you --
You fill
my hollow heart
with love.

Looking from afar
they ask
why
and how
I "do it."
It's a fair trade -
and I got the better deal!

For A and E -- I am so lucky to know you. Thanks for all your love.

Long time no see

It's been way, way too long.
I could tell you all the excuses
but you know me too intimately for that.
The truth hurts
but it's all there is.
I got busy
put you on hold
meant to come back
you know how it is...
I'm sorry
I didn't take the time to listen to you
didn't tend to your needs
figured you'd still be there
same as always
when I'd have time.
But I didn't.
And you weren't.
And I went on
without you.
I didn't mean
to drift away.
But drift I did
without you,
my best friend,
to guide me.

Then one day
sounding faraway
as if through a mist
and down a long tunnel
I heard your voice
My heart leapt
With a pang
as I realized
I barely recognize you anymore.

But now, I promise
I'm listening
We'll catch up on old times
And this time
We won't just keep in touch
because I'll never let go of you
again.

It's been way, way too long.
Oh, Neshamale
(Dear Soul),
how I've missed you!