tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post7294592874275651074..comments2023-10-11T08:23:51.911-04:00Comments on Bas~Melech Blogs!: Here It IsBas~Melechhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01511197551248863790noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-29664475666058276122007-11-11T20:02:00.000-05:002007-11-11T20:02:00.000-05:00Remember that old saying "husbands are made not bo...Remember that old saying "husbands are made not born"? It's true. And it's based on some real sociological truths: men, in general, do not consider shopping as fun; it is not stressed with men that they learn the finer points of etiquette--please and thank you is about how far they generally get; men do not share many of the "passions" that women have--ever see a group of men coo and burble to a new baby? Get excited by the latest model of toaster oven? Many mostly are not "appearance" obsessed, and yes ladies, that may be because to a lot of women a fat wallet excuses a lot of unkempt dressing. Any woman who marries a man and does not expect to have to "smooth the rough edges" is dreaming. I believe if you substitute "wife" for "life coach" you may get the idea.ProfKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17954446826821665314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-50054260328732635122007-11-07T12:25:00.000-05:002007-11-07T12:25:00.000-05:00Ahuva -- I am an FFB NYer and I would NOT want to ...Ahuva -- I am an FFB NYer and I would NOT want to marry that guy! Sheesh... But yes, if he wants a NYer then there's one place he's sure to find one...<BR/><BR/>G -- It seems to me that the ITs fail to be influenced by the OOTs. There are plenty of OOTs in NY for them to learn from.Bas~Melechhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01511197551248863790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-32254881673420557422007-11-05T15:36:00.000-05:002007-11-05T15:36:00.000-05:00Nothing to do with criteria.Based on what many wer...Nothing to do with criteria.<BR/>Based on what many were saying in the comments it sounds like many could do with an evening out on the town with a well raised, well mannered, easy going mid-westerner or southerner.Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08512231582715592098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-30565776513891821412007-11-05T15:14:00.000-05:002007-11-05T15:14:00.000-05:00Actually, I'm starting to think that some people s...Actually, I'm starting to think that some people should have geographical criteria. I just had a phone call where the guy was very concerned that I didn't have the "NY look" and that I "dressed like a BT." He actually told me that he was worried that I wouldn't wear the "right" makeup and wouldn't be able to conform (as if I wanted to look like a cookie cutter version of everyone else). I'm sure he would be much happier with a FFB New Yorker.Ahuvahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12313911386166259760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-28393607580391425072007-11-03T23:09:00.000-04:002007-11-03T23:09:00.000-04:00Psyched -- LOL, doesn't that say it all!G -- In to...Psyched -- LOL, doesn't that say it all!<BR/><BR/>G -- In today's world, I think it's ridiculous to have geographical criteria in shidduchim. Do you find people stick too close to home?<BR/><BR/>Adam -- Welcome to my blog :-)<BR/>Actually, the <I>community</I> should be the ones offering the help. The fact remains that some people really need it.<BR/>(btw, have you found a Shabbos host yet? I haven't been on TFC in a while, but I did do some asking around that didn't turn up anything...)Bas~Melechhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01511197551248863790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-28222795007729899502007-11-01T23:10:00.000-04:002007-11-01T23:10:00.000-04:00I have to disagree It is THE COMMUNTIES RESPONSITI...I have to disagree It is THE COMMUNTIES RESPONSITILITY TO HELP THE GUYS. NOT A LIFE COACH. MANY COMMUNITIES OPENLY ONLY CARE ABOUT GIRLS. If a guy complains about it he is blackballed. SO WHAT DO YOU EXPECT.<BR/><BR/>It has happened to me. I wish though the women would stop complaining that THEY ARE OPPRESSED AND VICTIMS when they can see they are not in any way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-417413281388620182007-11-01T15:26:00.000-04:002007-11-01T15:26:00.000-04:00I've said it before and I'll say it again.It sound...I've said it before and I'll say it again.<BR/><BR/>It sounds like some people need to look more into guys from outside the tri-state area.<BR/><BR/>**yes, I'm biased ;)Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08512231582715592098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-31627823779810071202007-11-01T00:25:00.000-04:002007-11-01T00:25:00.000-04:00Five words: I REALLY DON'T GET GUYS.Five words: I REALLY DON'T GET GUYS.psychedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05127404496251418714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-38145043309068312932007-10-28T09:20:00.000-04:002007-10-28T09:20:00.000-04:00DOTL -- Well, yes. I thought that was obvious. :-P...DOTL -- Well, yes. I thought that was obvious. :-P Of course, it's a sweeping generalization and not true in all cases.<BR/><BR/>Shidduchim -- Post away. Yours would be funnier, anyway.<BR/><BR/>HS -- Thanks for reassuring us that there are, in fact, single men who are "with it."<BR/><BR/>CP -- I'm not attempting to explain the "shidduch crisis;" merely offering one small suggestion to people interested in getting married. There is no one "answer;" it's a complicated formula with many such pieces, measured and mixed by G-d.<BR/><BR/>SM -- NOW you tell me?! Gosh, and I'm almost graduating... (well, not almost enough, but...) ;)<BR/><BR/>HS2 -- Exactly! Even though you are obviously looking for more than a tie, your first impression is "Ugh." What a pity.<BR/><BR/>Sarah -- thanks for the compliment.<BR/><BR/>Almost -- I think most guys can't "figure out" how to impress a girl. They're made of different stuff. The problem arises when they don't know to ask... and don't have a mother or sister on their case.Bas~Melechhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01511197551248863790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-81389997117207733502007-10-26T12:06:00.000-04:002007-10-26T12:06:00.000-04:00I've had a guy show up to consecutive dates in the...I've had a guy show up to consecutive dates in the same coat with the same hole in the back... I figured he might not have noticed it for the first, but the second too? Doesn't he look at what he puts on? I spend enough time making sure everything I wear is just right. It stands out if he doesn't.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-6337900447451893902007-10-25T20:09:00.000-04:002007-10-25T20:09:00.000-04:00By the way, lest anyone think that maybe I'm the s...By the way, lest anyone think that maybe I'm the slob of the relationship and I don't know any better, I have a very good education in mens clothing thanks to my brothers who all dress to kill. Like if a boy shows up with an ugly tie, I totally realize it and will be like "uch" before I remind myself that it's not the tie that counts but the inside.halfsharedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08897983346646333294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-59098984694592251272007-10-25T19:33:00.000-04:002007-10-25T19:33:00.000-04:00good post.meanwhile, we (I) keep searching...good post.<BR/><BR/>meanwhile, we (I) keep searching...Sarah Likes Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15055831838215589183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-90231952775388622072007-10-25T18:09:00.000-04:002007-10-25T18:09:00.000-04:00The worst ones are those that think its weird to h...The worst ones are those that think its weird to have a career and study for a Masters. what,like are you intlectual, like you read a lot of books??<BR/><BR/>Sometimes I am.<BR/><BR/>Where are all the good guys hiding???שלומית נעים נאורhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15172874100603197578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-87857039240405096782007-10-25T17:39:00.000-04:002007-10-25T17:39:00.000-04:00Um...I side with Halfshared--I haven't yet met a b...Um...I side with Halfshared--I haven't yet met a boy who I considered a "shluch" or a slob or not put together...<BR/><BR/>I don't think singles are not getting married because one side finds the other nerdy or distastefully clad. Everyone has a different taste in physical appearance and even the "nerds" have those who want to marry them! Those who find a certain mode of dress or behavior unappealing are not forced to marry people like that...<BR/>Yes, there might be a shidduch crisis, but I'm not sure this is the reason... <BR/>But it was a good post anyway. Thanks for making me laugh :-)corner pointhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15649503886368361215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-80536294803102080892007-10-25T10:16:00.000-04:002007-10-25T10:16:00.000-04:00I don't really have much to see because my experi...I don't really have much to see because my experiences are not the same as yours. I guess I don't hang out at these social gatherings cuz I haven't yet met a guy that was boring or plain etc..I've met guys that aren't my type but they didn't seem to need coaching. Looks like I'm the minority here. Then again, the only time I really "meet" boys is on dates so then they basically do look put together.halfsharedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08897983346646333294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-5267969855443378662007-10-25T09:38:00.000-04:002007-10-25T09:38:00.000-04:00Sometimes a wife can whip a guy into shape. Just o...Sometimes a wife can whip a guy into shape. Just observing. <BR/><BR/>btw - I admire your guts, Bas~Melech. I've been debating an entry entitled "Are Boys Stupider?" for almost a month now... :-D <BR/><BR/>And David - yes of course girls are. We get a different education, and it shows. In fact, ortho girls and guys might as well be from different planets. <BR/><BR/>The problem is not new. It was actually an issue in Europe before the Bais Yaakov movement. In fact, that was part of the purpose: put the females on the same planet as the males. <BR/><BR/>But in this case, we're on the same religious planet, but totally different planets in terms of sophistication. Girls are out and about and know the importance and how-to of being presentable and appealing. Guys aren't and don't.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-81640223021334816032007-10-25T02:38:00.000-04:002007-10-25T02:38:00.000-04:00Of course every guy will need SOME prodding and gu...Of course every guy will need SOME prodding and guidance in their lives. I am not denying that. Every woman will need some too. It's part of any wonderful relationship. <BR/><BR/>But when at the point a guy is looking for a girl, that he can not seem to figure out how to impress her????<BR/><BR/>That's just plain rude and shows poor character (and upbringing?)almost_freihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13747171628385093039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-24352044636183686372007-10-24T23:08:00.000-04:002007-10-24T23:08:00.000-04:00I agree...Most of the guys I know are lame, boring...I agree...<BR/>Most of the guys I know are lame, boring and not fun to talk to...<BR/>Then again..I happen to have a very low tolerance of small talk..<BR/><BR/>Are you insinuating that the girls are more educated or more secure?David_on_the_Lakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16755322374991538262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-32494434446878222072007-10-24T22:54:00.000-04:002007-10-24T22:54:00.000-04:00LOL, I'd already planned my next post as a respons...LOL, I'd already planned my next post as a response to all the comments I might've gotten on this one... OK 3 ain't bad.<BR/><BR/>This only means one thing... guys don't read Half Baked ;-)Bas~Melechhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01511197551248863790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-48950331770725500082007-10-24T20:42:00.000-04:002007-10-24T20:42:00.000-04:00Almost-- Of course everyone wants a mentch. Don't ...Almost-- Of course everyone wants a mentch. Don't know about you, but I define "mentch" as someone with good character, sensitive, refined, etc. A person can be a mentch and not be up to date with news and style.<BR/><BR/>The person who marries such a mentch will hopefully appreciate his qualities and not feel too burdened if she has to send him for a haircut that he won't take himself.<BR/><BR/>Smile (I keep writing BAS then saying, wait, that's me...)-- You're absolutely right about the derech eretz statement. I think that many of these people are not uncaring, but simply oblivious. They expressed their concern through a series of nervous habits that drove their family/roommate crazy the night before, unlike a woman who expresses her concern by doing her hair and checking her outfit in the mirror a thousand times (which drove <I>her</I> family/roommate crazy!)<BR/><BR/>Dreamer -- as an official attendee, none. But there are plenty of places where singles meet. (think shul functions, mutual friends, and singles events that BasMelech didn't attend but just passed through...)Bas~Melechhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01511197551248863790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-53203072659710057112007-10-24T19:01:00.000-04:002007-10-24T19:01:00.000-04:00What upsets me more than them being uncoordinated ...What upsets me more than them being uncoordinated and a shloch is the message behind it - we didn't take the time to care about how we appear to you. Undoubtly a girl is going to take longer to get ready, whether married or not but to me is is part of derech eretz how boys turn up! <BR/><BR/>Almostfrei, sorry to disappoint you but 90% of all males will need prodding along their whole lives, their priorities are different to ours and yes you will be picking up after your husband and telling him when you notice a stain and reminding him to do this that and the other, but if you love him it won't seem a chore to you but an honour as queen to look after the king! ;)<BR/><BR/>Remember: Behind every great man...is a great woman.Floating Reflectionshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08303272541997145306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-17932651348125242702007-10-24T09:37:00.000-04:002007-10-24T09:37:00.000-04:00almostfrei - i think that some guys just need to b...almostfrei - i think that some guys just need to be TOLD to dress normally, to clean the car BEFORE the date, to brush his hat so that there ain't a layer of accumalated dust.<BR/>not to say that they won't fall back into it after a while... but by then, hopefully, they'll have a wife nudging them along (and picking up the socks...lol)<BR/>i don't know if the guys (and gals) who fit this description necessarily need a coach, but they do need someone, be it a parent, rav, teacher, mentor or friend, to bang them over the head.<BR/>:)<BR/><BR/>basmelech - HOW many singles events have you been at?the dreamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12822161153919399458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5603613747739329910.post-15664667460097791312007-10-24T08:19:00.000-04:002007-10-24T08:19:00.000-04:00Any guy who can't figure out how to dress properly...Any guy who can't figure out how to dress properly and be presentable will need a 'life coach' for the rest of their lives. <BR/>What girl wants THAT job? <BR/>The number one 'guy' criteria, I usually hear from girls, is that they are looking for a mentsch, both in it's original meaning AND in it's translation. <BR/>They want a MAN not a overgrown child that they will have to coach through life.almost_freihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13747171628385093039noreply@blogger.com